Greetings Beloved Ones!
It has been said that we have the power to choose a new response to an habitual reaction. But that takes a great deal of presence! You have to be aware of your reactions in the moment and then have the presence of mind to change them in mid-stream.
Our author says, "our habitual reactions are generally defensive." That being true, I would think it would take a consistent use of the new response before it becomes a habit. So, finding a way to practice your new and desired response would be key. Why not take a desired response and turn it into an affirmation that you use and repeat consistently over time to recondition your mind. That way when the situation comes up you stand a better chance of responding rather than reacting!
. What are some of your habitual reactions?
. Can you identify what triggers an habitual reaction from you?
. Would you be comfortable taking about ten seconds before responding in a conversation where you feel threatened, triggered, or uncomfortable?
Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
My habitual responses are typically defensive and angry. I have been working on this for some time now. It is extremely difficult when you have lived a lifetime reacting in that fashion. Intellectually, I know I hace the power and ability to choose a response and I will continue to work on it. When you are "trained" to react, it is very hard to remember to take 10 seconds of forethought before you respond. What I have accomplished so far is that I can catch myself in mid-reaction and then perhaps back off a little. Its a strt! I will continue my work with this.
ReplyDeleteI am totally comfortable taking ten seconds and longer to respond even in a heated or threatened conversation. What I discovered the longer I am silent, the more in control I feel because I am not allowing someone else to dictate my emotions. I feel the urge to jump in and defend myself but (most of the time) I resist. Silence gives me the distance to analyze whether this is something I should address now or later. If neither life nor limb will be lost, I tend to address the issue tempers and emotions have subsided.
ReplyDeleteStop! Think! Respond!
ReplyDeleteA very simple practice that continues to provide me with the concious awareness of my reaction to a comment or action. And choosing to not respond or react oftentimes brings the other person into the present and makes them more aware of the impact of their words or actions. Stopping! Thinking! And NOT Responding can even result in the other person changing their comment or action as well.