Know what you can control - and what you can't

Greetings Beloved One,

"How you do something you can control, but how others react is beyond your control!". Yet, how often do we think we can control the way other think, feel, act or react? If they don't give us the answer we seek, or respond in ways we agree with, we keep trying to change them, convince them, or convert them to our way of being, seeing, and doing!

Sometimes, the opposite might occur. We are so sensitive to other's needs, thoughts, and opinions that we are overly concerned when we aren't in alignment with them. We worry that we will offend them, anger them, not have their approval and the like. We are all to ready to give away our power just to please them or prove acceptable to them.

Our author says, "Your integrity deepens when you can say to yourself, - 'I've done my best, and I am happy with that."

. Do you ever find yourself giving away your power?
. Have you ever agreed with someone just to avoid and argument?
.Do you ever feel controlled by someone else and now do you handle that?
. When was the last time you tried to please someone?

Well, make it a free flowing day!
Rev. Sylvia

Choose what goes into your mind

Greetings Beloved Ones,

"Feed your mind as well as you feed your body!". Most of us our conscious of how well we take care of our physical body. We feed it, bath it, exercise it and give it rest. Well, what do we do for our minds?

The mind also needs to be fed, exercised, nourished, and rested. What goes into the mind will also find its way out as an expression of who we are.

. What do you do to feed your mind?
. How do you exercise your mind?
. What is the first thing you find yourself thinking about upon awakening in the morning? What kinds of thoughts are present?

Makenit a mindful day!
Rev. Sylvia

Check Your Results

Greetings Beloved Ones,

We have all heard the saying that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results". Have you ever wondered why we do that? Well, it's crazy!!

If you want different results you have to do something different; it's just that simple. You might want to start with what it is that is frustrating you and work from there. Take note of what would alleviate your frustration and do that. For example, you want to finish your report before the last minute timeframe you usually work under. So the results you want to focus on how can you alleviate the pressure you put yourself under with your last minute antics! Find the leverage you need to start earlier! If you want different results, take different actions!

. What is it the you do over and over without new results?
. What habits can you change that would bring you more peace?

Well, be the change you want to see!
Rev. Sylvia

Your Power To Choose

Greetings Beloved Ones!

There are times when we find ourselves in the heat of the moment and we react rather than respond to the situation. And, our reactions are usually not our best.

The object would be to learn now to consciously choose while in the midst of a challenging situation; one that is emotionally charged. This is not easy but we can practice how we would want to respond so that it is a familiar response when we are in the heat of the moment.

Also, try noticing what your body feels like when you are triggered. Let it be a sign that you want to make a conscious choice. And, remember to celebrate your successes! Make note of how good it feels to be more on top of your reactions! You can consciously choose!

. What are your triggers or hot spots? How do you usually respond?
. Do you notice when you get defensive in a conversation? What do you do?

Well, choose to make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Know What Your Prejudices Are

Greetings Beloved Ones,

"Responding is never a neutral activity. It is always driven be emotions, assumptions, preconceptions and prejudices. In fact not only is responding driven by prejudices, it also reveals them.". Wow! What you think, how you respond, react, or behave says a great deal about you. Your opinions reveal your prejudices, not only your point of views. And, all of this affects your relationships and interactions with others; and the same goes for the other.

So, how do we have open and honest relationships without all the prejudice, assumption, judgements and perceptions getting in the way?

. Do you have prejudices about certain groups of people? Where did that come from?
. Have you ever participated in group think or herd mentality?
. What are your prejudices?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

How are you affecting others?

Have you ever felt small or insignificant? Well, the truth is that we affect everyone we come in contact with! It is as if we leave a energy trail of our presence wherever we go.

Every word you say, every smile, every frown, even your silence has an affect on those around you. So, the questions are:
. What is your being saying to others?
. How do you think other people experience you?
. What is the general impression you leave with the grocery store clerk or the stranger on the street, or the person who calls soliciting on the telephone?
. How would describe your relarionship with your colleagues and co-workers, oh yeah, and your boss? And, how do you contribute to that relationship?

Ah, what a wonderful day!
Rev. Sylvia

Respond in slow motion

Greetings Beloved Ones,

There is a spiritual practice called "Mindfulness" in which you bring your full awareness to everything you do. And so, you practice by doing everything in slow motion. You walk slow, being mindful of every step, feeling the pressure of each toe as it touches the ground. You brush you teeth in slow motion, chew every morsel of food with conscious awareness.

This practice helps you bring conscious forethought to your actions, choices, and responses. You are present for your life! You aren't rushing through unconsciously!

. How can you tell when you are on automatic pilot?
. Have you ever driven home and don't really recall how you got there? Or, have you done something similar that demonstrated unconscious activity on your part?
. How often do you change your routines?

Have a mindful day!
Rev. Sylvia

The Power of Pausing

Greetings Beloved Ones,

We're all familiar with the phrase "Stop, Look and Listen". What if we were to apply that concept to how we engage life? We might then pause to check out if we are being conscious in our actions; we might take more time in listening to others; we might actually stop and smell the roses.

Learning to pause before we act, or speak, and do an inner scan, (which doesn't have to take long,) will allow you to bring more awareness and presence into your being. You will find you will make better choices, present yourself in a calmer manner, be more thoughtful of others and express a host of other positive effects.

. What can you do to build in some power pauses into your life and daily activities?
. What can you do to train yourself to pause before you act?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Set Your Inner Compass

Good Day Awakened Ones!

The beauty of waking up to a new day is that it lies open before you! It is a chance to begin anew with a fresh start. I have found that when I take a moment to set my intentions for the day, it has a remarkable effect on my day. Energy flows where your intentions goes!

Setting your inner compass for your intended direction reminds you that you are the captain of your ship. You have choices to make, and decisions about your inner world as well as your outer experiences but it all starts with you. Set the tone for your day before getting out of bed. Myou decide how you will approach the day. Pick a value or a word or an intention statement and then go.

. How do you begin your day?
. What gifts do you offer to yourself to take on the day?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Choose To Respond Rather Than React

Greetings Beloved Ones!

It has been said that we have the power to choose a new response to an habitual reaction. But that takes a great deal of presence! You have to be aware of your reactions in the moment and then have the presence of mind to change them in mid-stream.

Our author says, "our habitual reactions are generally defensive." That being true, I would think it would take a consistent use of the new response before it becomes a habit. So, finding a way to practice your new and desired response would be key. Why not take a desired response and turn it into an affirmation that you use and repeat consistently over time to recondition your mind. That way when the situation comes up you stand a better chance of responding rather than reacting!

. What are some of your habitual reactions?
. Can you identify what triggers an habitual reaction from you?
. Would you be comfortable taking about ten seconds before responding in a conversation where you feel threatened, triggered, or uncomfortable?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

I Can Help It

Greetings Beloved Ones!

Have you ever felt overpowered by your emotions? They oftentimes just spring up after some type of trigger. We find ourselves reacting rather than responding. Because emotions come up quickly, we have to practice being aware of them often so that we can be conscious enough to choose how we want to respond in a given situation.

Not only will it help to notice them, but it will also help to name the when they are up. This way you can see if you have a range of emotions or you are habitually stuck on a limited few; which may or may not be appropriate for the moment.

Being aware will bring conscious forethought and thereby the ability to choose rather than react!

. What would say are your frequently expressed
emotions?
. What do you do to stop yourself from falling into an emotional tirade?
. How do you express your negative emotions in a healthy way?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Catalysts For Change

Greetings Beloved Ones!

Change VS Routine! That is an age old battle. Some things are better left the same and others demand change. There is safety and comfort in routine; you know what to expect. Yet change brings excitement and growth.

. Are you a person who likes things to stay the same? Or...are you constantly changing things, like your hair, your furniture placement, your driving route home?
. What do you do when you feel stuck in life?
. How do you re-boot or jump start your life?
. What changes need to be made in your life right now? What's the plan?.

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Is Empathy Your Enemy?

Greetings Beloved Ones!

We have been trained to be kind to others; to make an effort to meet the needs of others, help and offer support whenever we can. The question is, do you forget to take care of yourself in the process?

In my job as a minister, I am conditioned to put others first, to put the needs of the church first, to make sure everyone is happy and experiencing harmony, etc. When we express empathy to the degree that we lose or sacrifice ourselves in the process, it neither truly serves either party.

When we offer love and kindness, a compassionate heart, a listening ear and support, it truly needs to be offered with balance and mutual benefit; not at the expense of losing oneself.

. Are you a people pleaser?
. Do you fear not being liked by others or that you may not have their approval?
. Do you put other's needs ahead of yourself consistently? (barring children)
. Are there times you act like a martyr?
. Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship?

Make it a valuable day! Love yourself!
Rev. Sylvia

Listening to Complaints and Criticisms

Greetings Beloved Ones!

We have been working with the concepts of criticism and I must admit this is a sore spot for me. I don't take criticism very well. Someone just gave me a definition of criticism that rings true for me but one I might what to reevaluate. The thought is , "Criticism is someone's inner judge making a verdict on my life".

The usual response to criticism is the feeling of being judged. How can we change that to something less severe? How can we receive it in a manner that really is helpful? I would think if the person offering the criticism uses "I" statements and really owns their own feelings, that would help. It is when they make "you" statements that one feels the need to defend oneself.

State the behavior, without judgement or using the word "you", own and acknowledge your feelings and then ask for support in what you need or would like to see differently. This is part of a communication process called "Non-Violent Communication". It works if you work it!

. Do you use "I" statements or "you" statements when you are upset?
. How can you tell whether you are offering constructive criticism or judgments?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Cure for all Critics

Greetings Beloved Ones!

It's a fact that everybody has an opinion and, they feel free to share them with you! Or, everybody is a critic and they feel free to offer critiques. The questions is, how do you feel being on the receiving end of all these comments and opinions?

Observe whether you have a tendency to criticize, complain, offer unsolicited advice, judgements, reviews, or just your random thoughts about someon else. I know I think, well I am just "sharing"! But we must check to see if we are also "sharing" the good things, things that encourage, inspire, uplift, and praise others!

. Do you criticize others, or offer advice, or judgments?
. How do you handle criticism directed toward you?
. How do you feel when criticized?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

How to listen carefully

Greeting Beloved Ones!

OK, we are still talking about listening. Why? Well perhaps it is because we don't do it very well. To really listen takes focus, deep compassion, and a commitment to hearing the other person...hearing the "other" person!

Usually, when listening to another person, we are also focused on what we want or need to say in response. What if we just listened? What if we agreed with ourselves that we would not interrupt, offer advice, or tell our own story while listening to another? Everybody wants to be heard! Practice being an exceptional listener and you just might find out a few things about yourself.

. Do you consider yourself a good listener? If so, what makes you so?
. How do you handle listening when the statements made concern you and, they are erroneous?
. Do you give advice?
. How do respond to advice?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Your Listening History

Greetings Beloved Ones!

I came from a family that loved to talk. Everybody had an opinion about everything and anything. And, often times we talked over one another. You needed to talk fast and loud if you wanted to be heard.

While it was fun joining in the conversations at family gatherings and I learned to value critical thinking and deep analysis, I also learned to make sure your point was made and heard. I'm not sure that last part always works to one's benefit. Sometimes it is best to just listen!

. What was communication like in your family?
. Do you often feel heard or unheard in conversations?
. In group settings, are you forthcoming or laid back?

Well, make it a valuable day! I can hear you!
Rev. Sylvia

Careful listening supports you

Greetings Beloved Ones!

How can you gain a sense of self by listening to someone else without interjecting your thoughts and opinions? Well, because you are perhaps so comfortable with yourself that you do not need to hear yourself or ensure that others hear you over themselves.

Listening is truly an art. It takes a fair amount of self control to take the focus off of yourself and allow it to rest on another. But giving someone your full and complete attention is a gift to that person and you grow stronger in the process.

. When was the last time you listened to someone and did not interrupt or interject a comment or statement about yourself?
. When was the last time you felt heard, truly heard?

Listen Up! Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Listening is an Attitude

Greetings Beloved Ones!

There is a phrase that says, "Listen or your tongue will make you deaf". In other words, be quiet and listen to what others have to say. There is nothing more caring than giving someone your undivided attention and concern.

Often when others are speaking we are talking in our heads; thnking about what to say next, evaluating whether we agree with what the person is saying or just plain spacing out.

Everyone wants to be heard! Really and truly heard with empathetic ears. You don't have to agree just let me know you have heard me and not with your own spin about what you think I said, but what I actually said.

Listening is an art and done well, can heal relationships.

. How do you feel when you are not heard or listened to empathetically?
. Do you listen to yourself? How much time do you actually spend listening to yourself?

Make it a valuable day! I can hear you!
Rev. Sylvia

Unexpected Strengths

God's Day to you!

It has been said that your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength and likewise, your greatest strength can become a weakness! The question is how to find the balance between undergoing or overdoing something?

. Is there something in your life that you are fairly good at that when overdone has caused a problem for you?
. What are your strengths?
. What are your weaknesses? Is there any similarity or connection between them?
. Do you have any hidden strengths or weaknesses that others cannot readily see?
. Have you discovered any unexpected strengths?

Here is a website for a test to help identify your strengths. www.authentic happiness.org

Make it a valuable day!
Rev.Sylvia

Make it