Well friends, today's lesson should be fairly easy. We all have habitual ways in which we respond to certain situations; especially those situations or experiences that carry some type of emotional charge.
The author says, "patterns let you know that you are responding less to whatever is going on outside yourself and more to your own habits and assumptions". Hmmmm, assumptions! They will get you every time!
The questions for the day are:
. How do you react when someone asks you to do something you don't "feel like" doing or when they criticize you?
. When you meet someone with whom you might possibly get involved, do you always tell yourself how unlikely it is that things could work out well?
. Are you constantly defending your actions in your own mind?
. Do you feel taken by surprise when things go really well?
Have fun journaling!
Abundant Blessings
Rev. Sylvia
My journaling has already exposed some patterns. I recognize that for the most part, I am a, "glass half empty" type of person. I believe i have gotten better over the past few years, but I still have work to do. When I'm asked to do what I don't feel like doing, I tell myself this is an opportunity to express love. When meeting someone who I might possibly get involved, i immediately begin to look for things that I am incompatible with. Guess I'm a little gunshy from past experiences. Instead of defending my actions, I have become very anylitical as to the why and how a situation occurred. ...and yes, sad but true, I still get surprised sometimes when things go really well.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you all.
This will be a good lesson for me today. I do find myself in reaction some of the time when working at the hotel. When someone asks me "Do you know where Salon A is"? I want to shake them and ask them Do you think they pay me to sit here and look cute:-) I get so frustrated when people ask me really ridiculous questions, then I get frustrated with myself because I am frustrated "AGAIN" I don't do this with my family or friends I tend to be a lot more considerate. I was always taught right or wrong good or bad not to ask "stupid questions"(my Father stuff) so I know where it comes from. So today my word is Considerate. I will be Considerate of others and aware that they are doing the best they know how to do, and I do not need to judge just answer the questions. As for getting involved I am still waiting and anxiously anticipating. I am not really taken by surprise when things go really well, I am taken by surprise when they don't. It's a age thing! Last night was amazing the sharing gave a lot of insight to us all since I believe can all relate in some way to the story as well as feeling safe to share where we are on our journey. I certainly can say I have said things on this blog that I never thought I would or could but I am so glad that I have. This class is the high point of my week and you are really doing a great job. Thank You
ReplyDeleteThis is the thrid time I had to type this because I keep forgetting my google password...so I really think that spirit is trying to make sure I know this! My response to the question am I surprised when things go well made me feel really good for some reason. But, I am totally not surprised when things go well, it's the exact opposite...I am very surprised when things don't go my way, I always expect things to go my way...I used to tell people that I think I am like a chosen one or something cuz I never need to worry about anything, I was just always divinely taken care of. Now as of the past couple months the universe has been showing me something different and I am now realizing that it's not that things are going bad, its just a lesson here for me or something else. Things are changing and they are not coming from me, it's like I do not have control over what is going on around me and at this point I am trusting GOD to express through me and make the decisions for me. The only thing I do is sit here and meditate as much as possible so that I will know what to do next. So as far as that question, no I am only suprised when things go wrong....lol...have a great day!
ReplyDeleteUsually I go ahead and do what I don't feel like doing, it is part of my conditioning and effort at not trying to disappoint anyone but then I usually end up feeling disappointed in myself for not having the courage to be true to myself!
ReplyDeleteI also don't do well with criticism. That old ego rears it's ugly head and I more than likely will get defensive. This is truly something that I have to work on! I believe when i get truly comfortable with sharing and speaking my personal truth, and realize just because someone says it doesn't make it true, I will be able to simply say, "thank you for sharing" and if it is something I can benefit from great and if not, so be it!
The trick for me would be to see the patterns when they come up and be present enough to make a new choice! The work continues!!!
It depends upon who is doing the asking and/or criticizing. If the person is part of my inner circle and the request is truly important to them, I will try to accommodate their request. To those not part of my inner circle, I say, “I would really like to help you (go with or help you fix it) but I need time for myself. Thank you for being so understanding.” In the past when criticisms came from my inner circle, I took them as the truth and very personally. These people know and love me they would not criticize me unjustly, I thought. There must be some validity to their comments. So I would assess, analyze and critique their criticisms and even when I knew deep inside they were wrong, sometimes I owned their criticisms. I know that stemmed from not truly knowing myself which bred a lack of confidence and profound insecurity. Now, I listen to criticisms with a fine sieve, I take that which I deem useful and discard the rest. My phrases, whether spoken aloud or just in my mind, are “I do not receive that and that is not who I am.” In the past, I always told myself it would work out well. Now, I find I tell myself that less often. Once I make a decision, there is not some much defending going on. My challenge is to move through the analysis, pie charts, graphs, vision boards, Venn diagrams and T-charts to the final decision more quickly. I need to trust that God has it worked out and I can rest in that knowledge. Before coming to Unity, I expect things to work out because I had planned well and yes I kind of trusted God. Now I expect them to work out because God is in control.
ReplyDeleteYes there are moments when I am reactionary. Then there are times as segenvertis stated that I too go through a battery of mental calisthenics before I allow myself to make a decision or take action. There are times when I behave as if it were a life or death situation. Sadly I often see failure life threatening. I have a pattern of not taking risks. When someone is rude to me my reaction depends on how much power I have given that person. I can be hurt and sulk quietly for days or retaliate with a counter attack(after a strategic amount of mental calisthenics)or maturely describe my hurt feeling (this requires mental and emotional push-ups).
ReplyDeleteWhen someone asks me to do something that I do not feel like doing, I try to put myself in their place and say to myself, how would you feel if the roles were reversed. Should I ask someone to do something for me, it is hoped that they will be willing and happy to assist. I try to make it a point, to go along and honor others requests, knowing that what I do for others, I am only doing for myself. Should the request be something that will violate a person's free will or cause harm to another or myself, I will not do it. Should it be that I just cannot do it, I won't, and I won't beat myself up with guilt over the situation.
ReplyDeleteI have no problems with constructive criticism; but I am hard enough on myself. Unless a person ask my permission to criticize me, I prefer for them to keep it to themselves. Should I desire someones' critique, I know how to ask for it. One lesson I have learned over the years; is that a spiritual person do not give help or criticism unless you ask ones permission.
Past history has kept me constantly on the defense about allowing myself to get involved with a person in a personal or impersonal relationship. My ego is on the defense against harm when it comes to allowing someone to enter into my personal domain. Now when an involvement manifests in a positive way, the first thing my ego will say, "its about time". I know the ego is only looking out for self survival; where as, the Christ within me, quietly tells me to fear not and know that no person or thing can come into my life, unless it is the will of God and for valuable needed lessons. Today I am trusting, but we know how the ego will pop it fearful head up, but I TRUST.
No, I do not give free reign to myself in justifying my actions. I know there is still a lot of baggage with me,so I will critique my every move and let God direct me to the right actions and decisions.
Fisher
Wow, what an insightful class last night! Deepest gratitude to all who shared and those who held the safe space to do so.
ReplyDeleteI am learning to really create some space between someone asking me to do something and my affirmative response. I am replying "let me think about that and get back to you" a lot more lately. That gives me a chance to feel whether or not I really want to do it or not. I am trying to avoid doing things out of a since of sacrifice or worst-guilt. I still slip up sometimes, and in those times I give myself permission to change my mind. This has been/is a long process, but I am getting the hang of it and feeling more authentic everyday. As for criticism, if it is coming out of a place of love and someone genuinely wanting me to grow, it usually will not feel like criticism and I take it in stride, however if it is harsh, then i feel hurt and I react to that in many ways (all of them unhealthy) I tend to hide my hurt feelings. I often to go into relationships with a keen awareness of the impermanence of all things, and this can be a form of sabatoge, in fact it has been, I have given up on good relationships too easy in the past and under the guise of "all things being impermanent anyway." I am by nature an optimist, I usually expect things to turn out great, shocked when they don't.
Kim Davis