Greetings Beloved Ones,
We all know the secret to relationships is mastering the art of "compromise". And, the way to refine your ability to compromise is to keep your ego in check! It is the ego that tells you you must have your way, or that you are always right, or that you must win at any cost, or to compromise is to somehow lose.
As you grow and mature emotionally and spiritually you will value the ability to let go, to compromise, to honor the other in the relationship and still feel good!
. What was your last compromise?
. Do you need to win all the time?
. Can you let others be right even when you know that you are right?
Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monitor your inner state
Greetings Beloved One,
"When you feel bad about yourself, you will be far more inclined to interpret other people's responses negatively. You can get a read on your inner state of mind by how you relate to others.
It is good to take your emotional temperature once in a while. Sometimes we react to others without conscious forethought. We can benefit by tuning into how others are responding to us. Then we can check whether it is us or them. Either way, we can use the opportunity to choose consciously.
. Do you react quickly to other people?
. How do monitor your inner state?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
"When you feel bad about yourself, you will be far more inclined to interpret other people's responses negatively. You can get a read on your inner state of mind by how you relate to others.
It is good to take your emotional temperature once in a while. Sometimes we react to others without conscious forethought. We can benefit by tuning into how others are responding to us. Then we can check whether it is us or them. Either way, we can use the opportunity to choose consciously.
. Do you react quickly to other people?
. How do monitor your inner state?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Monday, August 8, 2011
No Dumping!
Greetings Beloved One,
Do you ever feel entitled to criticize, yell, or, act out simply because you are feeling bad? Often times because our friends and loved ones are near and because we know they love us, we feel free to express all of our emotions or rather "dump" all of our emotions on them!
What we really want and need is empathy! Not just a place to unleash all of our stuff!!! The key is for us to learn how to share our negative feelings and emotions with those who care about us, in a healthy way for them and us.
Instead of going off, try simply owning our state of being out right. This will allow the other person to know what is going on with us and it will diffuse our inner feelings.
. What do you do with your pent up emotions and feelings?
. How do you express your frustrations?
Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Do you ever feel entitled to criticize, yell, or, act out simply because you are feeling bad? Often times because our friends and loved ones are near and because we know they love us, we feel free to express all of our emotions or rather "dump" all of our emotions on them!
What we really want and need is empathy! Not just a place to unleash all of our stuff!!! The key is for us to learn how to share our negative feelings and emotions with those who care about us, in a healthy way for them and us.
Instead of going off, try simply owning our state of being out right. This will allow the other person to know what is going on with us and it will diffuse our inner feelings.
. What do you do with your pent up emotions and feelings?
. How do you express your frustrations?
Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Fortify The Castle
Greetings Beloved One,
We have been taught to consider others and this is good; however it is also good to be clear of when to focus on your own needs. Sometimes it is necessary to say no when considering others.
Our author says, "tolerance or even kindness should never take you to a place where your own integrity comes under threat"....considering others ceases to be psychologically helpful when you lose sight of your own needs, integrity and self."
. When was the last time you had to say no to someone? How did you feel?
. How do you choose between your needs and your obligations?
. How do you fortify your "castle"?
Make it a great day!
Rev. Sylvia
We have been taught to consider others and this is good; however it is also good to be clear of when to focus on your own needs. Sometimes it is necessary to say no when considering others.
Our author says, "tolerance or even kindness should never take you to a place where your own integrity comes under threat"....considering others ceases to be psychologically helpful when you lose sight of your own needs, integrity and self."
. When was the last time you had to say no to someone? How did you feel?
. How do you choose between your needs and your obligations?
. How do you fortify your "castle"?
Make it a great day!
Rev. Sylvia
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
What Boundaries Allow
Greetings Beloved One,
Everyone has their own personal space. We have our likes and our dislikes, our own sense of what is acceptable to us and what is not. Because everyone is different and has different boundaries of comfort it would seem to make things challenging for us in relating to one another. However, the opposite can be true. Having clearly identified and expressed boundaries can actually help the relationship if they are known, honored, and valued by each party.
When boundaries are in place, you can feel empathy, interest, love, and peace. Just remember, you are not the center of other people's world, just your own. Respect their boundaries and set yours!
. How are you affecting other people?
. Are you aware of other's boundaries?
Make it a valuable day?
Rev. Sylvia
Everyone has their own personal space. We have our likes and our dislikes, our own sense of what is acceptable to us and what is not. Because everyone is different and has different boundaries of comfort it would seem to make things challenging for us in relating to one another. However, the opposite can be true. Having clearly identified and expressed boundaries can actually help the relationship if they are known, honored, and valued by each party.
When boundaries are in place, you can feel empathy, interest, love, and peace. Just remember, you are not the center of other people's world, just your own. Respect their boundaries and set yours!
. How are you affecting other people?
. Are you aware of other's boundaries?
Make it a valuable day?
Rev. Sylvia
Monday, August 1, 2011
What Boundaries Are
Greetings Beloved Ones!
Do you have boundaries? Are you able to say what you need from others? Are you able to tell others what is not acceptable to you? Do you allow other people to walk over you? All of these questions have to do with boundaries and whether you have them or set them in your relationships.
Taking the time to get clear on what your boundaries are will inevitably help you and those you interact with. It takes self-respect, self-confidence, and self-awareness. And, it provide a freedom that encourages honesty and understanding if done in love.
. Where do you need to set boundaries in your life?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Do you have boundaries? Are you able to say what you need from others? Are you able to tell others what is not acceptable to you? Do you allow other people to walk over you? All of these questions have to do with boundaries and whether you have them or set them in your relationships.
Taking the time to get clear on what your boundaries are will inevitably help you and those you interact with. It takes self-respect, self-confidence, and self-awareness. And, it provide a freedom that encourages honesty and understanding if done in love.
. Where do you need to set boundaries in your life?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Friday, July 29, 2011
There's nothing private about your moods.
Greetings Beloved One,
I ,issued yesterdays message but it is a powerful one and I believe it also ties into today's message. Yesterday was about growing beyond abuse. Many people suffer not just from physical abuse, but emotional and psychological abuse as well. Truth be told emotional and psychological carry just as heavy a burden as psychological abuse although it may on the surface seem less harmful.
Consider the effects of abuse leading to your being either a people pleaser or having ranting expressions yourself. Both are harmful to you and the people around you. You may either hold all your feelings in or force them out and onto others. Finding a healthy form of expression is a must for you. Building Self-Love and Self-Respect is a start!
When you can love and forgive yourself, it will lead to loving and considering others more easily. Your moods and outlook will change for the better and everyone around you will benefit.
Find something to love and forgive about yourself today!
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
I ,issued yesterdays message but it is a powerful one and I believe it also ties into today's message. Yesterday was about growing beyond abuse. Many people suffer not just from physical abuse, but emotional and psychological abuse as well. Truth be told emotional and psychological carry just as heavy a burden as psychological abuse although it may on the surface seem less harmful.
Consider the effects of abuse leading to your being either a people pleaser or having ranting expressions yourself. Both are harmful to you and the people around you. You may either hold all your feelings in or force them out and onto others. Finding a healthy form of expression is a must for you. Building Self-Love and Self-Respect is a start!
When you can love and forgive yourself, it will lead to loving and considering others more easily. Your moods and outlook will change for the better and everyone around you will benefit.
Find something to love and forgive about yourself today!
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Not everyone's needs are the same
Greetings Beloved One,
We have all heard the saying, "there is more than meets the eye'. That is true of everyone. There is always more to us than people can see, which is why we want to avoid judging by appearances!
Our author states, "try to see the real person, and not the image of the person that lives in your mind". They are undoubtedly more complex. If we give others the benefit of the doubt, we will more than likely give them the opportunity to express more of themselves because of our lack of judgment of them. People can feel when we are open to them or not!
. Who needs the benefit of your doubt?
. What else can you see in the other in your life who appears challenging to you?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev.Sylvia
We have all heard the saying, "there is more than meets the eye'. That is true of everyone. There is always more to us than people can see, which is why we want to avoid judging by appearances!
Our author states, "try to see the real person, and not the image of the person that lives in your mind". They are undoubtedly more complex. If we give others the benefit of the doubt, we will more than likely give them the opportunity to express more of themselves because of our lack of judgment of them. People can feel when we are open to them or not!
. Who needs the benefit of your doubt?
. What else can you see in the other in your life who appears challenging to you?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev.Sylvia
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Beyond The Personal
Greetings Beloved One,
We are so focused on ourselves that we sometimes forget that other people truly make our lives worthwhile. Instead of judging, analyzing, or criticizing them, we can find ways to express our appreciation and love foe them.
Try starting your day naming all the things you love and value about those in your life. Then begin to open your heart so that you can express openhearted kindness and consideration of all whom you encounter today. Let every encounter be a holy encounter. Notice how you relate to others today. Practice Random Acts of Kindness!
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
We are so focused on ourselves that we sometimes forget that other people truly make our lives worthwhile. Instead of judging, analyzing, or criticizing them, we can find ways to express our appreciation and love foe them.
Try starting your day naming all the things you love and value about those in your life. Then begin to open your heart so that you can express openhearted kindness and consideration of all whom you encounter today. Let every encounter be a holy encounter. Notice how you relate to others today. Practice Random Acts of Kindness!
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Friday, July 22, 2011
Because you can!
Greetings Beloved,
Are you nice to those who are nice to you? Are you curt with those who are curt with you? Do you respond with hurt feelings to those who hurt your feelings? All of these responses would indicate that you are allowing others to determine how you will feel or respond. You are giving your power away!
Be kind because you can, be forgiving because it is the right thing to do for you and the other, treat those who mistreat you, with love and kindness because it is the higher way to respond and will do more to heal and uplift and transform than anything else!
. Have you taken the higher road lately?
. Do have others responded to you when you were extrordinarliy kind to them?
. Do you play the Tit For Tat game?
Be kind today!
Rev. Sylvia
Are you nice to those who are nice to you? Are you curt with those who are curt with you? Do you respond with hurt feelings to those who hurt your feelings? All of these responses would indicate that you are allowing others to determine how you will feel or respond. You are giving your power away!
Be kind because you can, be forgiving because it is the right thing to do for you and the other, treat those who mistreat you, with love and kindness because it is the higher way to respond and will do more to heal and uplift and transform than anything else!
. Have you taken the higher road lately?
. Do have others responded to you when you were extrordinarliy kind to them?
. Do you play the Tit For Tat game?
Be kind today!
Rev. Sylvia
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Do I feel like it?
Greetings Beloved One,
"It's easy to consider others when you feel like it"! but what build character is sometimes doing thing when you don't feel like it! However, I am not talking about obligations, I am talking about considering others because you feel in your heart that it is the thing to do, the thing that allows you to be magnamious, generous, loving and considerate as a way of being! i am talking about spiritual maturity!
. What choices are you making that cause you to consider others?
. When was the last time you were generous in giving of yourself?
Make it a valuable day! Think about someone else!
Rev. Sylvia
"It's easy to consider others when you feel like it"! but what build character is sometimes doing thing when you don't feel like it! However, I am not talking about obligations, I am talking about considering others because you feel in your heart that it is the thing to do, the thing that allows you to be magnamious, generous, loving and considerate as a way of being! i am talking about spiritual maturity!
. What choices are you making that cause you to consider others?
. When was the last time you were generous in giving of yourself?
Make it a valuable day! Think about someone else!
Rev. Sylvia
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Other people want what you want
Greetings Beloved One,
"The capacity to henuinely care about other people's feelings, even when you don't have those same feelings at the same time or in the same way, is what builds and developes empathy. This is a crucial attribute of emotionaly maturity".
. How do you handle when others bring you sad news?
. How do you handle the pain of others/
. What is your process for "being" with others in need?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
"The capacity to henuinely care about other people's feelings, even when you don't have those same feelings at the same time or in the same way, is what builds and developes empathy. This is a crucial attribute of emotionaly maturity".
. How do you handle when others bring you sad news?
. How do you handle the pain of others/
. What is your process for "being" with others in need?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
We are all complex beings!
Greetings Beloved Ones,
Don't you love hearing yourself referred to as a Beloved One? That is true of all of us, we are the Beloved of God, yet we may not always refer to or think of others in that manner. We judge, label, make wrong, condemn, criticize, find fault and express a host of other non flattering qualities.
what if we were to consider that no one is perfect and that we all are complex with multilevels and expressions. none of which you see in another is all of who they are, even the people you claim to know so well. Let's give one another the benefit of the doubt and love each other anyway, in all of our ways!
. Who have you labled lately?
. Who have you judged lately?
. Where are your areas of complexity?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Don't you love hearing yourself referred to as a Beloved One? That is true of all of us, we are the Beloved of God, yet we may not always refer to or think of others in that manner. We judge, label, make wrong, condemn, criticize, find fault and express a host of other non flattering qualities.
what if we were to consider that no one is perfect and that we all are complex with multilevels and expressions. none of which you see in another is all of who they are, even the people you claim to know so well. Let's give one another the benefit of the doubt and love each other anyway, in all of our ways!
. Who have you labled lately?
. Who have you judged lately?
. Where are your areas of complexity?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Monday, July 18, 2011
Give Happiness a Chance
Greetings Beloved Ones,
our author states, "the happiest people in all societies, across all cultures, races and religions are those who recognize their power to affect others positively---and do something abouit it!
. what are you doing to affect someone positively?
. have you ever practiced Random Acts of Kindness?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
our author states, "the happiest people in all societies, across all cultures, races and religions are those who recognize their power to affect others positively---and do something abouit it!
. what are you doing to affect someone positively?
. have you ever practiced Random Acts of Kindness?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Friday, July 15, 2011
Vacation!
Oh, by the way, I will be away next week and I am not sure if I will be able to post. We will see. If not, then I will catch you all in a week!
Rev. Sylvia
Rev. Sylvia
Talking Without Listening
Greetings Beloved One,
Have you ever met someone who greeted you by asking you how you are and then never stopping to actually listen to your response before going right along with their conversation? Of course we have, because at some point we have all been that person!
Try actually listening the next time you ask someone how they are doing. Give them your undivided attention; ask them honest questions, show genuine interest.
And likewise, when someone asks you how you are doing, notice your responses. Are you giving pat answers or are you truly conveying what you are feeling, or what is present for you at the moment? And, when you take a look at your answers, what is it that you are focused on? The Good, the Bad or the Ugly I your life? Hmmmm?
. Practice listening today! To yourself and others!
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Have you ever met someone who greeted you by asking you how you are and then never stopping to actually listen to your response before going right along with their conversation? Of course we have, because at some point we have all been that person!
Try actually listening the next time you ask someone how they are doing. Give them your undivided attention; ask them honest questions, show genuine interest.
And likewise, when someone asks you how you are doing, notice your responses. Are you giving pat answers or are you truly conveying what you are feeling, or what is present for you at the moment? And, when you take a look at your answers, what is it that you are focused on? The Good, the Bad or the Ugly I your life? Hmmmm?
. Practice listening today! To yourself and others!
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Thursday, July 14, 2011
You affect other people constantly
Greetings Beloved One,
The author of Choosing Happiness states, "It's easy to recognize the impact other people have on us". We love it when they treat us with love, respect kindness. Or, they truly listen to us, or compliment us, or forgive us. We even feel it when they are rude, unkind, or treat us in a harsh way. But.....
How often do we stop and consider how we are affecting other people? Everythingnwe do in the presence of others also has an impact on them!
Here are so things to consider:
. Are people encouraged or discouraged by the way you treat them?
. Are you lifting their spirits or driving them crazy?
. Are they better or worse off for knowing you?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
The author of Choosing Happiness states, "It's easy to recognize the impact other people have on us". We love it when they treat us with love, respect kindness. Or, they truly listen to us, or compliment us, or forgive us. We even feel it when they are rude, unkind, or treat us in a harsh way. But.....
How often do we stop and consider how we are affecting other people? Everythingnwe do in the presence of others also has an impact on them!
Here are so things to consider:
. Are people encouraged or discouraged by the way you treat them?
. Are you lifting their spirits or driving them crazy?
. Are they better or worse off for knowing you?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
What considering others means
Greetings Beloved Ones,
We have been talking about being considerate of others. And that other peoplenreally want what we want. They want to be happy, fulfilled, loved and treated with kindness. They want to be respected and valued.
However, just because people basically want the same universal wants and needs as we do, that does not mean they want exactly what we want in experience and expressions!
We must still allow people to be themselves, to have their differences, and to show up as they do. We can still demonstrate our caring for them; we can offer our concern, and give them our attention. We can still honor them and value who they are.
. Who can you be considerate of today?
. Who is the complete opposite of you and you love them anyway?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
We have been talking about being considerate of others. And that other peoplenreally want what we want. They want to be happy, fulfilled, loved and treated with kindness. They want to be respected and valued.
However, just because people basically want the same universal wants and needs as we do, that does not mean they want exactly what we want in experience and expressions!
We must still allow people to be themselves, to have their differences, and to show up as they do. We can still demonstrate our caring for them; we can offer our concern, and give them our attention. We can still honor them and value who they are.
. Who can you be considerate of today?
. Who is the complete opposite of you and you love them anyway?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A Friendlier Way Of Life
Greetings Beloved One,
Sometimes it is hard to remember that every person you encounter wants what you want. They too want respect, love, kindness, happiness, fulfillment, security, and the freedom to be themselves. If we could but remember that when we related to others it will make for better relationships.
As we grow and mature we are more open to considering others; more willing to place them first when needed and being fed and fulfilled by doing so.
. How do you give of yourself?
. Do something for someone else today!
Make it a kinder day!
Rev. Sylvia
Sometimes it is hard to remember that every person you encounter wants what you want. They too want respect, love, kindness, happiness, fulfillment, security, and the freedom to be themselves. If we could but remember that when we related to others it will make for better relationships.
As we grow and mature we are more open to considering others; more willing to place them first when needed and being fed and fulfilled by doing so.
. How do you give of yourself?
. Do something for someone else today!
Make it a kinder day!
Rev. Sylvia
Monday, July 11, 2011
Other lives matter
Greetings Beloved One,
Think about this, when a bird flaps it's wings in Brazil, it changes the wind currents all over the planet. We are interconnected in ways we can't imagine! Every life matters because we all effect one another whether we realize it or not.
. What are you doing to impact the world in a way that blesses others?
. How do you balance between being self-centered in a healthy way and being other centered?
. Who can you support today?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
Think about this, when a bird flaps it's wings in Brazil, it changes the wind currents all over the planet. We are interconnected in ways we can't imagine! Every life matters because we all effect one another whether we realize it or not.
. What are you doing to impact the world in a way that blesses others?
. How do you balance between being self-centered in a healthy way and being other centered?
. Who can you support today?
Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia
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