Thursday, March 31, 2011

How to deal with a painful situation

God's Day to you!

If you experience some type of painful situation is your response usually to mull it over and over in your mind? Do you replay the situation or the conversation or the scene? Do you hold yourself and others hostage to your pain?

When deeply hurt, we have to find healthy ways to deal with the pain, otherwise it will color and affect our interactions and experience of the world.

The author of the book, "choosing happiness" says we should wrtie down our feelings, our attitudes, how we think the situation is going to affect us for the rest of our lives, how will we be changed, wha does it mean for the future, etc. Then.....go back in a few days read your statements and write two new lists; one titled "Helpful Attitudes" and one titled "Hurtful Attitudes"' the see on which list all of your responses from your first writing fall into! Boy will you get some clarity!

So....How do you handle your pain? What is your process?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Painful Feelings, Painful Attitudes

Greetings Beloved Ones,

Have you ever been wronged, hurt, betrayed, left out or misjudged? Well, we all have suffered some injustice in life. The question is, what have you done with those feelings? What have you done with the hurt and pain? What have you done with the sense of rejection and loss?

Often times we simply keep it all buried within our heart, mind, body, and spirit. We may tell ourselves and others that we are ok, that we are working on it, getting over it, but in reality we are reliving it, holding it in consciousness and letting it affect our attitudes and behavior even if unconsciously.

How long is long enough to hold on to our hurt? Feelings are to be felt, that's ok. It can become problematic when those feelings are then allowed to. Interfere with present day actions, choices, and perceptions.

I say feel them and then heal them! That is our work. Your growth comes through right perception and right thinking! Don't just hold them heal them!

. What hurts or painful situations need to be healed in your life?
. What are you holding on to that needs to be released?
. How do you work on or with your feelings?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A change in attitude can change a relationship

God's Day to you,

Stephanie Dowrick says, "Attitude rules your inner world. And because attitude drives behavior, it also rules our relationships. ...Attitude can heal relationships or bring them to a painful end."

If you want to heal them, it is going to take a shift in attitude, a shift in perception and a desire to work it out; which means a willingness to see things differently. If you can start with and hold the premise throughout your interaction that you want to support one another, it will really help shift you from your stuck places. Being honest about your needs while also being fully open to the other's needs will also help. The point is to be willing to alter your attitude. It will change the way you experience life!

. What attitude do you carry toward your partner, your boss, your best friend, your colleague, and your neighbor?
. How does your deeply seated attitude affect your relationships?
. What is the basic attitude that needs to be changed right now for you?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Monday, March 28, 2011

Practice Gratitude

Oops, I didn't finish before i accidentally sent the blog. So.....here is the rest of my thoughts.

I told the woman to find at least three things she was grateful for daily. It is hard to remain sad or empty when you are focused on gratitude! The quickest way to feel God's presence, is to fill your heart with gratitude.

. What are you thankful for?
. What do you do to fill any feelings of emptiness?
. What represents beauty to you?
. What lifts your spirit?

Well, make it a grateful day!
Rev. Sylvia

Practice Gratitude

Greetings Beloved Ones,

An older woman came up to me in church and said she was visiting from another church. She told me of some health challenges she had and how she was feeling empty. She said she needed to feel God's presence in her life.

Have you ever felt empty or that you couldn't find the meaning of your life? Well, here is what I told the woman and what I would offer you. I told her to name at least three things she as grateful for

Friday, March 25, 2011

Focus on process not applause

Greetings Beloved Ones!

Our author states, "our culture is highly critical and competitive." How true! The media thrives on critiquing others and our young are encouraged to compete as a way of success. Both of these qualities has a lasting effect upon our developement.

Instead of striving to "be the best", why not simply strive to "do your best.". Doing your best without fear of judgement, criticism, or comparison will free you beyond measure. It will bring an inner sense of fulfillment that allows you to access even higher levels of creativity. It is the inner process that matters most.

. Is there something you are not particularly good at but you enjoy doing immensely?
. What brings you a sense of fulfillment ?
. Are you overcritical of yourself?
. How do you encourage yourself?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Saying No as well as Yes

Greetings Beloved Ones!

No is such a powerful word yet are you really comfortable saying it when you think you will hurt someone else or let someone down? There are so many situations were we are tempted to hold back our no in favor of offering something that will keep the peace or not cause others to think of you poorly.

When we are not honest with others about how we feel or what we truly want, it gives them the wrong picture of who we are and how they can and should respond to us.

. Can you and do you say no when there is a lot at stake that you might have to give up?
. How do you say "No to Power"?
. When was the last time you said yes when you wanted to say no? What prevented your no?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Testing blog

Greetings, this is just a test of the site.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Live Encouragingly

Good Day Awakened Ones!

Sometimes I call you Beloved Ones, and that is because I want you to know you are loved. And sometimes I call you Awakened Ones because I want you to remember your true purpose.

If we are showered with positive encouraging words we usual want to live up to them. Everything in the universe responds to and loves praise. It expands our sense of self.

. What do you do well and how do you encourage yourself?
. Do you offer compliments easily?
. Do you receive compliments easily? If not, why not?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Other People, Your Guilt

Greetings Beloved Ones,

Guilty, guilty, guilty! if you are like most people you would hate to hear those words,especially from a judge. Yet how often have we acted like judge and jury and proclaimed others guilty! They may be guilty of hurting you, betraying you, or in some way offending you.

But what about when you are the guilty one? What about when you are the one doing the offending. Do you feel just as guilty or do you try and deflect that guilt? More than likely you project that guilt outward onto other people!

The task is how to handle and own our own sense of guilt. This would be a great sign of maturity and spiritual advancement!

. How do you handle guilt? Do you recognize when you are feeling guilty?
. Do you ever make people wrong or bad or gullty? Why?
. How comfortable are you with making mistakes or admitting you are wrong?

Well, you are precious even if fallable! Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The invaluable moment of choice

Have you ever done something that you really didn't want to do or say something you really didn't want to say? We all have had those times when we have used poor judgement or made questionable choices.

Our author makes a statement that i believe would serve us all well. She states, "Awareness of consequences is key to conscious living". What if you could see the result of your actions and words before you made them? Would do or say something different?

It may be a good practice to pause before you act and ask yourself if this action, word or deed is in alighment with your stated values or the way you want to be.

. Without laping into regret, is there something that looking back you would do differently now that you know the outcome of your choice? How can this learning serve you in the future? What can you do to help you pause before acting?

Well, make it a valuable day,

Rev. Sylvia

Monday, March 14, 2011

Facts are not Fate

Greetings Beloved Ones!

Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor who wrote the powerful book, "Man's Search for Meaning", said: Facts are not Fate! I love that thought because so often we think that whatever is before us is set in stone, or that it is not changeable. All things change! That is part of life the question is how will we handle the change.

One way would be to keep in mind that the situation will change and that thought alone may
help you to begin to think of what you need to do differently or what your options may be.

. What are the facts that are presently facing you that you want to change?
. What is your plan of action?
. Do you believe in fate?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Friday, March 11, 2011

Choose like an adult

Greetings Beloved Ones!

What are the things that drive you? What are your addictions? Not necessarily substances, but habits, feelings, compulsions or things you simply do unconsciously.

I love the author's definition of an addiction. She states: "an addiction reflects a fundament attitude that whatever you are addicted to is more powerful than you are, and that your fears, anxieties or limitations could not be eased or supported in any other way." Wow!

An addiction is basically giving away your power! Giving it to something or someone you believe is greater than, better than, stronger than, more worthy than yourself! But, that is not so.

Take back your power over your life and the decisions, choices, and actions you make. There is nothing outside of you that is greater than the spirit of God within you! That's all you need. You are supported by the universe! Go for it!

. To what or where have you given away your power?
. What are the things that drive you?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Drop those limiting perceptions

Good Day Awakened Ones!

Jonny Nash sang, "I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the clouds that had me down, it's gonna be a bright bright sunshiny day!". But...can you see clearly?

So often we are clouded by our perceptions which we hold to be true. Or....we don't see how we are or what we are doing that affects our experiences. We think the way we see it is the way it is! Well, that ain't necessarily so!

If you find yourself experiencing some negative or limiting feeling and thoughts, practice asking yourself "how else can I see this situation?" "what else may be going on here?"; "how can I show up differently?"

Be careful, you just might get a new perspective!

. What needs to be changed in you?
. What perspective or perceptions are challenging you right now?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Positive thoughts are not enough

Good Day Beloved Ones!

If you put ice cream on top of dirt to clean it up, and make it look pretty or taste better, guess what, when the ice cream melts, the dirt is still there! Tha is what happens when people just keep putting positive thoughts on top of their negative feelings!

Saying positive things can help but it is not enough if your underlying attitudes and feelings are not addressed. You have to ask yourself truthful questions about why you feel the way you and if that is the ultimate Truth about you. Once you can identify the root cause of your feelings and thoughts then you can sweeten them with more loving, positive, and supporting thoughts. You can then affirm the goodness and value of your being!

. Where are you using artificial sweetener to cover up your true feelings?
. Have you examined your negative feelings? What are they all about? What lies underneath them?
. Do you see the glass as being half empty or half full? And, shaft do you do with the other half?

Well, make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Monday, March 7, 2011

You are not at the mercy of your own thinking

Greetings Beloved Ones!

Help, these thoughts keeps running through my head! Oh, it's called thinking. However, when you keep repeating the same thought or senario over and over it's called being unconscious, or compulsive, or obsessive, or guilty.....you get the point.

You are the master of your mind and sometimes you just have to take charge and redirect the quality of your thoughts. When you notice you are caught up in a loop, do something to change directions; take a walk, ask questions about an entirely different topic, do something with your body, anything to shift you energy.

. How do you handle repetitive thoughts?
. Why do you think we have repetitive thoughts?
. What is the quality of your repetitive thoughts?

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Friday, March 4, 2011

How thoughts work

Greetings Awakened Ones!

If you have been on the spiritual path for a while, you probably have heard that your thoughts are not your thoughts. Well, whose are they, because they sure are running around in my head!

The key to know is just because thoughts appear or pass through your mind doesn't mean you have to buy into them or identify with them or act upon them! You can actually simply let them pass though.

The challenge may be when those thoughts keep passing through and they are affecting you negatively. The first thing is to remember that they are just thoughts! You do not have to react to them. You can simply observe them. This may take practice but it is so worth the effort. Because, once you begin to watch them you then have the presence of mind to be more conscious in choosing whether to engage them or change them!

. What do you do with your repetitive thoughts? How do you change them or do you just let them run rampant?
. What is the quality of your repetitive thoughts? Are they positive or emotional, or negative?

"Watching in" instead of "watching out", will have a powerful effect on your life!

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Thoughts can be changed

Good Day Awakened Ones!

Someone said, "no one is born with a bad attitude, but many people die with one"! Help!, my attitude is killing me! If you truly look at your life, the experiences you have, your actions and reactions are offen a reflection of the thoughts you are holding in your mind. They create your basic attitude towards life and people.

Thoughts can be changed! It may not be easy but it is possible. See if you can develope the practice of observing your thoughts. Try to notice the quality of your thoughts and the energy behind them. Ask yourself where is that thought coming from? What is driving that opinion, or belief? What is the emotional charge behind the thought? Is it fear based, or ego driven, or coming from a place of love and deep awareness of good and truth?

This is a great way to change your thoughts and attitudes. When I woke upnthis morning I was feeling a bit discouraged, then as I observed those feelings, I heard a higher thought that said, "being or getting discouraged is just the ego's way of keeping you entangled in negativity, just keep going and moving forward". That newe thought immediately changed my attitude and feelings of discouragement. So....stop, look and listen to your thoughts....you just might want to change them.,

Make it a valuable day!
Rev. Sylvia

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Think of life as a series of imperfect facts

Good Day Awakened Ones!

You may not know it but I am a recovering perfectionist. OK, if the truth be told, I have fallen off the wagon a few times....ok, several times!

Oh how I think things should be perfect! I am not conscious of that but the fact that I get upset when they aren't is a tell tale sign of a perfectionist.

The popular phrase of "Go with the Flow", has some value when applied appropriately. If we understand that life is a series of imperfect experiences then we are better able to handle whatever is before us.

People are also imperfect and if we can hold them in that light when something doesn't go quite right, forgiveness and understanding are easier to come into play.

. What are some of your imperfections?
. When was the last time you made a mistake? How did you react? How did others around you react?
. If your life were perfect what would it look like?

Well, that ought to keep you for a while! Make it a valuable day!

Rev. Sylvia